Friday, March 4, 2011

"Help Meet"

Help Meet
(This is Part 2 of a 2 part session.)
Written by : Jane M. Coley, Missionary Wife       Date: February 5, 2011

Goal: To help build stronger families through understanding God’s design for the help meet.
Scripture Reference: Genesis 2:7-9, 15-25; Ephesians 5:21-33; I Peter 3:1-7
Introduction: God created the universe and all that is therein.  God then created Adam, and sometime later, God created his wife.  But before she was called a wife, she was called a woman, and before she was called a woman, she was called an “help meet” by God.
  The words “help meet” are only found together in verses 18 and 20 of Genesis chapter 2 (KJV).  Together these words are referring to a matching mate for Adam/Man.  The Woman was designed to be an help meet, but she was not designed to help the man with his labor, nor was she designed to work for the Man.  God gave no occupational instructions to the woman.  God had another purpose for the design of a woman, an help meet.
 
   I. Understanding God’s design of the help meet.
 A. Adam did not need help with the labor that God had given him to do.
     1. Adam was to dress and keep the garden of Eden, and name every living creature. Genesis 2:15, 19
     2. These occupational instructions for Adam were given and accomplished before Adam was introduced to his wife. Genesis 2:20
     3. While in the process of naming every living creature, Adam began to see a pattern and realized there was no matching mate for him, Adam/Man was alone.
 B. God’s design of an help meet was because Adam/Man was alone.
     1. Man being alone was the only thing about God’s creation that was not good.
     2. Adam/Man alone meant he had needs.
         a. He had no one of like-kind to interact with.
         b. He had no matching mate to bear offspring with.
         c. He had no matching mate to share his life with.
 C. God’s design would be specific to Adam/Man’s needs. Genesis 2:18, 21-25
     1. God had designed the needs in man, and God would provide the help to meet the needs of man.
     2. God designed Adam/Man as a triune being with a body, a soul, and a spirit.
     3. It is this tri-unity of Man that Woman was specifically designed to help meet the needs of.

 II. Understanding God’s design of the needs He put into Man.
 A. God designed woman to interact with man on three levels; physical, emotional, and spiritual.
     1. Men and women are not the same, and ironically, it is this difference between them which results in the best design for a balance of the husband and wife relationship.
         a. God designed the difference to be a compatible relationship. (well-matched)
         b. But Satan uses the design to create a combatant relationship. (fighting)
         c. Satan has been trying to destroy the relationship of a husband and wife since the Garden of Eden.
     2. God did this by making men and women different on these three levels; physically different, emotionally different, and spiritually different.
     3. It is this difference which best produces a balanced relationship.
 B. A woman is an help meet not by her function... but by God’s design.
     1. In example: I have a car, we know it’s a car by its design.  But if the car does not run, does it cease to be car?  No.  It is a car by its design, even though it does not function, it is still a car.
     2. In like manner, a woman is an help meet by God’s design; it is what she is... not what she does that makes her an help meet.
     3. But because a woman is an help meet, she should desire and want to choose to be a good help meet, which is being a good wife and mother. Proverbs 31:10-31 (with attention to verse 12)
 C. These needs were designed by God to cause Man to “cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”, bonding them together on all three levels. Genesis 2:24
     1. If a wife was created to work for and serve her husband, those are duties that any servant is able to comply with.
     2. An help meet serves... but an help meet is not a servant.
     3. The marriage relationship is designed by God to be unique, unequaled to any other relationship.

III. Understanding God’s design of the triune bonding between a husband and his wife.
 A. Our different physical design has three purposes...
      1.  Designed different to be a balancing matching pair.
      2.  Designed different for mutual sexual enjoyment. Proverbs 5:18-19; Song of Solomon
      3.  Designed different for producing offspring together. Psalms 127:2-5; Genesis 1:28
 B. Our different emotional design is to bring an emotional balance to the marriage relationship.
     1. A man will focus on the facts of a matter, while a woman will focus on the emotions, with the two working together this is to bring emotional balance to the relationship.
         a. Your children need the emotional balanced relationship of a dad and a mom to guide them.
         b. A parent’s balanced relationship gives to their children security  in the home, children feel loved and wanted.
         c. This balance helps the two of you to hold on to each other through the difficult times of life.
     2. A woman is God’s most emotional creation.
         a. This emotional design of a woman gives her the ability to comfort others while she herself is suffering.
         b. This emotional design helps a woman to “read” the needs in others - woman’s intuition.
         c. This emotional design helps a woman to bend without breaking - pliable.
     3. These emotions in a woman help her to be the one adjusting (bending without breaking) to the many changes in her life, as well as of her life.  In example:  Much like Sarah’s journey with Abraham and Sarah becoming a mother at 90 years old. I Peter 3:6; Hebrews 11:8-12
         a. Sarah was able to call her husband “my lord” not because she was commanded to do so, but because she lovingly wanted to.
         b. Sarah and Abraham never blamed each other for the troubles in their life, they were together (in agreement) through the troubles of life, holding on to each other.
 C. Our different spiritual design.
     1. Men and women are spiritual equal; both are sinners in need of a Saviour; both have equal access to God in prayer; both are able to receive answers to their prayers.
     2. But our spiritual function/role as men, and as women is different by God’s design. I Peter 3:7
         a. This verse (I Peter 3:7) shows both our spiritual equality with God. “...as being heirs together of the grace of life...”
         b. And our role distinctions with God. “...giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel...”
         c. Weaker vessel as in that which is to be protected and cared for.
     3. With God, leadership is male and the place of submission is female. I Timothy 2:11-14; I Corinthians 11:3; 14:34, 35; I Peter 3:1-6; Hebrews 13:17
         a. God designed this  “chain of command” for a wife’s protection and provision. Ephesians 5:21-33
         b. As the church is subject unto Christ, so to is a wife to submit to her husband’s leadership.
         c. And, within the church, leadership continues to be male and all positions of leadership are male.
       1. The key words: lead, leading, leadership.
       2. Men are to lead in teaching older boys; men are to lead in congregational singing and congregational prayers.
       3. Men, by God’s design, are to be the spiritual leaders of the home and the church.
           a. God holds the man accountable to his function/role of leader/leadership. Numbers 30:1-16
           b. Three scriptural examples:
  *  It was Eve who took the first bite of the forbidden fruit, but God looked for Adam to give an account because Adam was accoountable to God on this matter. Genesis 3:9, 10
  * It was Sarai/Sarah’s idea to give her maid, Hagar, to Abram/Abraham but even Sarah recognized that her wrong was upon Abraham and he was accountable to God. Genesis 16:1-5
  * It was Zipporah who refused to circumcise her son but God sought to kill Moses for the disobedience; Moses was accountable to God on this matter. Exodus 4:24-26