Grief, the visitor who never leaves, inserts itself into every aspect of my life. It shadows me like an impending storm...I feel it. I hear it. I see it and it overtakes me. It dulls every happy moment. I am ravished by it’s unending depth of sorrow...again...and again, until all I want is to die and end this aching of my heart.
There is a confounding complexity to Grief and Time:
Grief... you are both joy and sorrow to me for without love there would be no grief and I am eternally thankful to know this love.
Time... I want to remember every memory as if it were made today and I fear what you will steal from me, and yet, time is the only thing that draws me closer to when I will see my daughter again.
Grief, I make a resolve, your lessons are cruel but I choose to walk with you. I do not fear you. You will not make my heart cold. I will not be isolated in my grief. And, as with an impending storm, I choose to be prepared for the despair you will forever shower on me.
I will smile through you.
I will joy through you.
And, by God’s grace, I will live through you.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
...thou art with me...”. ~ Psalm 23:4
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?” ~ Psalm 27:1
Kimberly Renee Coley
September 7, 1986
December 17, 2014