Friday, June 23, 2017

My Darkest Day

It was December...and the worst news of my life shattered me forever...Kimberly was dead!  My beautiful 28 year old daughter had died of the flu.  She had gone to see a doctor on December 13th and died on December 17th, 2014, alone in her apartment.  Kimberly’s dad and I both had spoken with the police officers who had found her.  They were compassionate and gave us the information we were wanting.  Bill then called our travel agent and arranged for us to be on a plane the very same evening flying from Kenya to Arkansas.

We knew Kimberly was in heaven.  She had trusted the Lord as her Savior.  Knowing she had made her salvation decision years ago was a great comfort to our hearts.  But we were still in shock. How could our young healthy daughter die of the flu?  We were comforted in knowing that her death had not taken our Lord God by surprise: He would walk with us through this unimaginable tragedy and help us bear our deepest sorrow. 


Kimberly excited to see her brother, Billy, June 2014.
God is omniscient, which means He is all knowing: He knows the timing of our birth, as well as the timing of our death.  But He does not create the events that makes these things happen.  I believe in accidents.  I believe in free-will; freedom of personal choice with consequences and repercussions of our choices.  I believe “that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” as Romans 8:28 promises.  I do not believe that all things are good, or right, but I do believe that even the worst events and happenings of my life are brought together for good by my sovereign Lord God.


My brother's cancer had brought me to Arkansas for the summer, which in turn brought all my adult children together.  Had it not been for my brother’s cancer, and my decision to help him, those moments and memories with all of my children together would never have happened. With that in mind, I asked my brother not to be too angry or bitter with his cancer.  It was the event that gave me 16 weeks with Kimberly and a weekend with all my children together that otherwise never would have happened.  I cannot tell you how comforting those memories are to me now.

(More about Kimberly:
"Growing In Grief" http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/08/growing-in-grief.html
"The Most Unnatural Thing" http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/the-most-unnatural-thing.html
"Too Young to Die" http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/06/too-young-to-die.html
 "Embracing Grief"  http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/05/grief-knows-grief.html
"The Proving Ground"  http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2014/10/the-proving-ground_27.html
"What You Don't Know About the Flu can Kill You" http://janesjournalfromkenya.blogspot.co.ke/2015/09/flu-shots-are-helpful-but-not-always.html )